Tag Archives: crap

when Chris Harris became rubbish.

Such a shame, as 2 years ago I used to watch Chris Harris’ reviews on Drivers Republic and thought they were utterly brilliant.  Fast forward to his work with the current Drive channel on youtube—-and with each passing review, I find myself more bored, more annoyed, and frankly in view of tedious, self indulgent reviews which frankly go nowhere except gushing praise or annoyed disappointment.

(1) Chris Harris is exceedingly trying to be Jeremy Clarkson, and is failing miserably

(2) He takes 20 minutes (!!) to do this latest comparison.  Talk about tedious and overbloated.

(3) Anyone who thinks the M135s engine sound better than the RS3 turbo 5-cylinder is on MASSIVE amounts of something…..or has gone deaf…or is paid to say so.

(4) On the BMW payroll? he used to be…probably still is.

(5) He enjoys the sound of his own voice, far more than I certainly do.

(6) Repetitive luddite nonsense…and yet he still prefers a torque converter Automatic gearbox….utter rubbish!

These days, I think Automotive ‘journalism’ has become very cumbersome and quite frankly past-its-sell-date….then again, motoring culture itself is expired.  With every passing week I see new blogs and sites popping up—-all of which are the same stuff regurgitated through a big filter of bland.  Several months before dropping the car-centric IEDEI for a more creative version, I had become progressively disenchanted by ‘petrolhead culture’ and its neverending cliches, stereotypes, and superficiality.  Unfortunately, Chris Harris represents each one of those problems in a uniform package.  Will I watch Top Gear when it comes back? Yes.  Will I watch Chris Harris videos each Thursday? No.

Do i still love cars? Yes.  Do I want to be an active member of online motoring culture? No.

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Why did I even bother?

As an automotive enthusiast, I am of course drawn to most things motoring or automobile related almost instantly; as if it is a part of my natural instincts.  Last month, I saw one of those ‘super deals’ on car magazine subscriptions offering 12 months of magazines for $5.  I thought to myself “$20 will get me 4 subscriptions to 4 different car magazines!” and so I jotted my name down and signed up. Car & Driver, Road & Track, Motor Trend, and Automobile Magazine.

Now it seems regular that my mailbox is filled with these rolled up American car magazines, and I am left wondering why I even wasted $20 on them.   I didn’t want to criticize the US car magazine industry, but let me just tell you:  These magazines are unimaginative, boring, ad-filled, wastes of paper!  It’s like Autoblog, but in paper form.  I can’t even figure out if any of them are better than the others, because it is impossible to distinguish which one is least crap.

For now, I will have to suffer this silly 12 month subscription; although I am currently debating canceling all of them, even if i don’t get my money back.

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Worst engine bay ever…

I’m not a fan of Lexus cars—i think they are mind numbing and quite frankly soulless.  Many years ago I test drove a Lexus LS with my father, and I still think of that car as one of the WORST cars I have ever driven. That being said—-take a look at the 2010 Lexus LS engine bay.  I don’t think i’ve seen a worse example of an engine bay….well…ever.

 

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IEDEI vs. Toyota Prius (Round 1)

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I’m really hoping some of you reach this blog, while researching information about the Toyota Prius.  If you were googling for reliability, pricing, consumer reviews, problems, troubleshooting, whatever.

Let’s start by stating the obvious; the Toyota Prius is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE car.  It is SLOW, it is severely UGLY, it handles like feces, and it quite simply lacks any character.  The car is all hype, and for the several thousands upon thousands of minions who were too dim to actually bother trying to find a proper car and instead ended up with a Prius; think about what this car says about you.

Why bother dressing in a suit to go to work in a Prius?  You’ve already told the world you don’t give a crap what you look like; which is exactly why you’ve rolled into the work parking lot driving a misproportioned wedge.

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You wanted economy……OHHHHHHH.  So why have you not picked up a hugely efficient new Diesel which runs clean without spilling Nickel into the environment like the cancerous Prius seems to do.  Audi, VW, and BMW are all making solid diesel cars at the moment.  You can’t afford an Audi or BMW? Fine…..then drive over to the VW dealership and get a Rabbit (Golf in 2010) or Jetta TDI.  You’ll pull a solid 40-50mpg everywhere you go—and it won’t take you 15 years to get to 60mph.  More than that though, your friends will like you a little bit more, and the grass on your lawn will STILL be growing greener than ever.

Saving a few $$$ is not worth making an ass out of yourself.  The truth of the matter is; people hate seeing a Toyota Prius in front of them on the freeway, or getting stuck behind one in the city is generally worse than getting stuck behind a bus. Occasionally, you’ll see a minion of a human driving a Prius really really really fast (which is generally 40-50mph….fast for a Prion…err..Prius) and doing all sorts of weird maneuvers trying to draw attention to their strange little car.  Sometimes I wonder if these people think they are driving a Toyota Racing Development (TRD) tuned sports car?  Do they KNOW how slow and underperforming of a car they are actually driving?

You are NOT making the world a better place by buying a Prius.   You’re just making yourself look like a twit.

If I had extra money lying around, I would buy a Prius—-to have it junked and crushed for kicks!

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Let’s all laugh at Nissan!

…..and this hilarious new Nissan 370z GT4 edition.

No level of Porsche worship can justify this sort of weird, cheap looking imitation!  Come on, Nissan—we know you’re cheesy, but this cheesy?

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a $60,000+ Hyundai coming to the US?

Firstly, whatever drugs and illusionary potions the Hyundai personnel are taking must be working tremendously.  I think the press led you on to believe that your Genesis sedan and coupe were worthwhile options in the luxury sedan and coupe segments.  Sure….be happy and think you made a solid product.  The coupe is nothing more than a cut-rate Infiniti G37 (which isn’t a good thing!) and the sedan is a virtual rear end of a BMW E60 5-series and a Lexus LS (which is also not a good thing).

I thought (and still think) it’s pretty funny that Hyundai are selling a $40,000+ car in the Genesis sedan; i certainly wouldn’t buy one even if a kimchi covered gun was pointed to my head.  But hilariously enough, they’ve decided to launch a $60,000 sedan known as the Equus.  It will surely handle worse than 5-series, not have the majesty of an MB E-Class or S-Class, not be as modern of stylish as an Audi A6, and will be less reliable and more boring than an Lexus LS.  So do we want one?

NO THANKS, Hyundai!  Oh the horror….the horror.

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Why Jeremy Clarkson makes me laugh…

 

Jeremy Clarkson is by far one of the more entertaining and interesting reads around. Aside from his bizarre, over the Top Gear performances, he spends plenty of time writing articles about cars in various publications. Here is a bit of glory from The Times Online about the, erm, glorious Chrysler Sebring

Many people imagine when they rent a convertible in America that they’ll be thumping down Highway 1 under a blazing sky in a throbbing Corvette or an evocative Mustang. Yum yum, they think. Freedom. Sunshine. A V8 bass line. Engineer boots, leather jackets and tight blue jeans. The American dream. Sadly, however, most tourists end up with a Chrysler Sebring convertible, which is almost certainly the worst car in the entire world.

Fantastic. I always feel this way when i end up with a rubbish rental car at the local Hertz dealer when my car is in service, OR when i’m traveling. Yeah, i know some people i know don’t really like Mr. Clarkson—–but i find him most entertaining.

Click here for the full article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article4873574.ece

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