Tag Archives: UGLY

X-Ray Analysis: BMW Design.

I want to like new BMWs….i really do….I think they drive fair enough, however I just find they aren’t very interesting as an actual product (packaging, aesthetics, imagination, image, etc…).

The last BMW I appreciated was the derided last generation E81/82 1-Series, which plenty of people disliked—–However which I happened to like. It reminded me of old-school coupes like the NSU TT. Compact, stubby, and slightly ugly—-all of which gave it character. Nothing prepared us though for the horror which came when its updated F20 version came along. Let’s be clear—-the F20 is not a ‘brand new’ car….it is basically a reworking of the previous generation 1-series to tide things over until the next proper FWD 1-series comes along. The F20 is properly ugly, has lost any ‘retro’ character, and instead created an awkard design which seems almost NON-BMW. What happened here?!

Publicity photos provide all sorts of photoshopping BS and fluff without the essence of the car. So i’ve started “x-raying’ photos to analyze design. It serves me well.

E82 1-series hatchback

– stubby

F20 1-series hatchback:

– ugly!

So do these changes only affect the 1-series?? NO! The 3-series has been given the same awkward changes.

E90 Sedan:

F30 Sedan:

Now, I was never really a fan of the outgoing 3-series….i thought it was totally boring. Then again, most cars in that class are sort of meant to be boring—–however I think the majority of visually able beings will easily state that based on this x-ray image, there really is no comparison that even the boring outgoing E90 Sedan is a far nicer design than the messy, awkward friendly F30 Sedan. Do you agree? I do….oh wait, i wrote the opinion in the first place!

I can honestly say……bring Chris Bangle back, BMW!

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ugly of the day. SLK 55 AMG.

what in the world are MB thinking?  This has to be one of THE ugliest profile pictures of a ‘sports car’ i’ve ever seen.  Being someone who has always had a soft spot for the previous generations of the SLK AMG, i’m definitely not holding the new one to those regards…ouch.

 

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how to ruin a 1M.

the BMW 1M is such a cool car, although it may be suffering from ‘overhype’ at the moment.  I wish it was easily available and not ‘limited edition’ so nobody can get one…not that i have the money or anything but we can all dream right!? right!  Maybe one day….However, the owner of THIS 1M should be dragged into the streets and interrogated for bad taste!

more pics & original post at: 1addicts.com

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BMW have a seizure and unleash the Mini Coupe.

the title Kings of Automotive Ugly was held by Nissan until a couple of months ago, when BMW swiftly stole the crown with their horrendous string of terrible designs; the fact that they own Mini has now authorized them to spread their design gonorrhea to another unsuspecting victim; the Mini Coupe.

I have tried to understand this roof, however it is beyond my grasp.  At times, it resembles a cock from a small deformed animal—-at other times, a turtle with a broken shell—-and finally, it sort of reminds me of a rabbit with a pancake on top of it (see below).

i can’t really get myself to post more photos of it—-however if you need more info on this $22k Mini Coupe, head over to BMW for more official information (login may be required).

https://www.press.bmwgroup.com/pressclub/p/pcgl/pressDetail.html?outputChannelId=6&id=T0113154EN&left_menu_item=node__6568

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Panamera.

EDIT: THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE!

Yes I will take the bold step—-against all the opinions which say it is ‘ugly’ i will come out and say that I think the styling of the Porsche Panamera has grown on me significantly, to the point where I really am digging the looks of it now.  When i first saw it in test mule form, I was deeply disturbed.  When the production version was introduced last year—-i thought Porsche missed the boat a bit, however after seeing it in person I thought it was an ‘interesting’ design albeit not entirely convincing.  After some time and many more instances of exposure, I’ve had an epiphany;  I think this is one of the most unique, compelling, and bold car designs in recent years.  I think Porsche really made a bold step in designing it, and I can honestly say I love the way the Panamera looks in real life.  I think pictures don’t do the car justice—-it has much more presence than pretty much ANY 4-door sedan on the road today.  The interior, additionally—is one of the nicest interiors I have ever sat in.

Here is a wonderful Sportec-tuned SP560 Panamera.  I think it is all types of hotness—-yes I know some of you will laugh at me—but i’m glad many deride it, so the resale value will fall dramatically! plan in effect….


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Alfa Romeo copies a bunch of cars..calls it the 4C

Alfa Romeo have copied the Veyron. Alfa Romeo have copied an Artega GT.  Alfa Romeo have made a thicker Elise.  Alfa Romeo have copied the Seat Cupra GT Cup Car.  I am utterly offended by this car.  That is truly the first time I have said that about an Alfa in recent memory—-i even got excited when the Mito and the Giuletta were introduced; because at least they looked like an Alfa or had some originality.  This truly looks like a 3rd rate copy of an Artega GT…..F for effort.

(bottom photo from Autoblog)

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BMW: bring Bangle back!

BMW = Boring Me….oh never mind.

I like Chris Bangle.  His designs ‘sunk in’ after a while, which to me is a sign of someone who properly pushed the envelope.  I loved the BMW Z4 Coupe and i love the BMW 1-series, both designed by Mr. Bangle.  I know that he is still involved with BMW occasionally, and is also running his own company at the moment; but what i’m amazed by is just how boring the current BMW design themes have become.  Seriously…..how many versions of your E92 3-series can you make?  now you’ve made a larger one, and now you’ve made a super-larger one!  I honestly get confused when i see these on the road; sometimes i think the 5-series is a 3-series, sometimes i think the 5-series is a 7-series—-only the size prevents me from calling a 7 a 3 and vice versa…..the design is boring, they are utterly charmless….but most of all, they are COMPLETELY devoid of any challenge, art, or sense of passion.  BMW is a bored company, and it’s showing.  No wonder they’ve stretched out that last Bangle-era design (1-series) for another go as the 1-Series M Coupe—-which should be out soon….for a price of around…..$45-50k as far as i can guess.

I used to think the E60 5-series was a real ugly bastard when it first came out—-but the design grew on me, and i don’t even think it looks awkward anymore…i actually think it looks good….much better than the generic ‘new’ 5-series that just came out…

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The best looking production BMW today is…

yeah it’s the 1-series.  I know plenty of people are going to disagree with me…..and i know that plenty of people hate the way the 1-series looks; however i have always loved the styling of it.  It’s the only modern BMW that has an interesting design, aside from the strange 6-series which started to grow on me towards the end of its current life cycle.

There’s plenty of retro going on in the 1-series styling, some cues of the E30, some cues of older BMWs from the 70s liked the fabled 2002, even some NSU TT in there.  One of my favourite Coupe designs since the MK1 TT, for sure.

I will have a 1-series one day!  The question is when?

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3 reasons why IEDEI does NOT like the VW Scirocco.

I’ve grown quite tired of people gushing over the “good looking” VW Scirocco. I’ve seen several in person and I find it to be quite an ugly little machine.  A couple reasons why the Scirocco makes no sense to me:

1. It is a low budget, uglier, misproportioned, and german copy of the Alfa Romeo Brera.  Sure the Brera may suck to drive, but who cares!!! It is drop dead gorgeous.

2. The MK2 Audi TT is a better car; better interior, better proportions, and much more interesting to look at.  Of course I concede that the MK2 TT is a much uglier and nastier affair than the original MK1 TT which will go down as one of the 20th centuries landmark automotive designs; but the MK2 is close enough to the MK1 that it can carry at least a little bit of that over in legacy.  The argument that the TT is a “squashed Beetle” is countered by the fact that the Scirocco is a “squashed Golf”.

3.  The “new” Scirocco carries almost NONE of the passion the beautiful ORIGINAL Scirocco carried.  The original had very unique proportions in its time, different to the other notchbacks of the time (Audi Quattro, Alfa GTV, etc).  It was small and cool.  The new Scirocco is bulkier than a Golf, worse proportioned than a Golf (i much prefer the looks of the MK6 Golf to the Scirocco), and doesn’t really perform any different than a Golf.

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McLaren MP4-12C: how to build an unimaginative, ugly, and boring supercar.

The McLaren MP4 can do blahblahblahblahblah in blah.blah seconds.  It can reach a top speed of blahblahblahblahblah.  It has technology everywhere, including a blahblahblahblahblahblah….it is the successor to the legendary blahblahblahblahblah.

Don’t even care.  It’s so bland and painfully boring from every angle.  It looks like a rejected 90s build-your-own-supercar-kit-car.  Yeah you copied a Ferrari from the front, you copied the outline of an R8, and you tried add some Lamborghini-ness……BLAH BLAH BLAH.  blech.

Hey McLaren! YOU SUKZ AT DESIGN!  try again sometime…..

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